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If I actually caught Bigfoot.... Like others have said in the post, calling 911, animal control, or like any kind of government agency is likely to result in Bigfoot getting shot. My first thought instead would be to google the biology/zoology department at the closest major university, and see who Halloween Bigfoot Alien Unicorn Into The Darkness We Go To Lose Our Minds And Find Our Souls Shirt would be willing to come into the field to potentially identify a new species. I would probably not mention Bigfoot, because there is zero chance they would take you seriously after that, but I figure an academic who does field work is probably most likely to have the connections to handle the situation without fucking it up. What else am I supposed to call something over 6 ft, hairy, and extremely angry? She isn't exactly being a lady right now and girl makes her angrier. Also, we do not speak of the dude incident. Go with chimp. A chimp is a lot more likely to get someone sent over due to there being a lot more chimps because there are in the USA than gorillas due to being circus animals, pets, wildlife refugees and zoos. I don't think this would work either. This would likely lead to them calling animal control, as chimps are dangerous animals. It would probably get shot. You have to same some sort of large mammal, but maybe just say it's hard to describe.


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